im affraid you will have to excuse my flipancy but im affraid i couldnt think of any better way to say this sorry lol
the ways i know are....
1 hack it till u get it
2 install 97
3 say to ur self "stuff it, microsoft are crap" and buy a mac instead
sorry again, probably no help at all, but i shall say one thing that might be a little helpful; i always teach my students that the best way to learn about their computer is to fiddle (which is actualy what a true hacker does lol (true hacking is not malitious, it is fiddling with computers to make them do cool stuf) ). a person needs a very advanced knowlage of programing to be able to literaly blow up their computer, so untill then, thers no danger!
hope the last bit at least was a bit useful
SL