Author Topic: Jokes thread... (some r dirty, use caution)  (Read 3006 times)

taltamir

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Jokes thread... (some r dirty, use caution)
« on: October 23, 2002, 01:04:22 PM »
Here are the newest bumper stickers on the market:


1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

2) I don\'t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4) Some people are alive only because it\'s illegal to kill them.

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6) Don\'t take life too seriously, you won\'t get out alive.

7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

8) You\'re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

9) BEER: It\'s not just for breakfast anymore.

10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

11) So you\'re a feminist...Isn\'t that cute!

12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

15) I\'m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

16) My kid had sex with your honor student.

17) Earth first...we\'ll mind the other planets later.

18) I\'m just driving this way to piss you off.

19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

20) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

21) I don\'t have to be dead to donate my organ.

22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

27) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

28) It\'s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

29) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

30) I know what you\'re thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

31) Elvis is dead, and I\'m not feeling too good myself.

32) Always remember you\'re unique, just like everyone else.

33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

36) CAT ~ The Other White Meat!

37) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!

38) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes!

39) I\'m Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do you want?

40)Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Offline Twinkie

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« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2003, 06:56:00 PM »
Good news for all of you that might need blood transfusions in the future.  Thought this may of some interest to some of you:

The American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.  It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.
Hope this Helps,

Twinkie

Offline ckarii

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« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2005, 12:48:48 PM »
lol... nice

Offline Allanon

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« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2005, 12:28:09 AM »
LMAO  http://images.thetechguide.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':lol:\' />




Well... That happened


Offline mkda

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« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2005, 12:56:54 AM »
[quote name=\'Twinkie\' post=\'12262\' date=\'Dec 8 2003, 06:56 PM\']Good news for all of you that might need blood transfusions in the future.  Thought this may of some interest to some of you:

The American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.  It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.[/quote]rofl http://images.thetechguide.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':D\' />

nice..

Offline skafterke

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« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2006, 09:58:49 AM »
this is good site to

www.1001moppen.be

(dutch only )

Offline PK OWNER

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« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2006, 05:04:06 PM »
dido..nice twinky
Yes! I am the guy that started [topic="26106"]THE BIGGEST POST CHALLENGE[/topic] many years ago (The only thread with over 1,000 posts). Dont ask me if I'm the guy, since you know now.



[quote name='snake-master' post='85642' date='Feb 1 2006, 02:33 PM']... PK OWNER i got ur back on this, as for you [Name Hidden] you can take me to court to, i have done as much fraud as PK OWNER by that i mean none[/quote]What an Elite (snake-master/The Cursed) had to say about me when I was accused of scamming in '06.





I joined in '06, and I was one of the ORIGINAL Runescaper's of TTG.

Offline GOD OF WAR

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« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2006, 08:40:32 PM »
ok im sorry but 3 quarters of those jokes werent funny

Offline zspec32

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« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2006, 09:29:10 AM »
meh..they were alright
[color=\"#000099\"]>OFFICAL Middle Man<[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"][color=\"#000066\"]Contact Info[/color]: [/b][email protected] <== MSN[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]OR [/color][/b]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]PM ME![/color][/b]


*I proudly sponser the Anti-Scammers Special Thanks to Allanon*



TRANSACTION HISTORY:

1. I sent $100 money order to Sid first and got a picture with a FREE Party Hat second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Awesome Guy!)
2. I gave 1 million gold to hey jude first and he was supposed to pay $9 PayPal...Status: [color=\"#ff0000\"]SCAMMED!!![/color] We all know what I think about scammers.[/s]

3. Got $77 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 11 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

4. Got $48 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 6 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

5. Got $15 from pro edge first and traded him 2 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Great doing business!)

6. Got $175 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 25 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Smooth trade! Would do business again!)[/size]
7. Got $50 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 7 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Awesome buyer! Flawless transaction)[/color]



MIDDLE MAN (MM) HISTORY:

1. Received 500k from aidskaid and he received member's PIN from bloodogre, then I paid bloodogre the 500k...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color]
2. MMed an account trade for gold between grassyassnub and mattman18...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Went fast and smooth...A+ to both guys!)[/color]

3. MMed members pins for dann...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color][color=\"#000000\"] (Fast trade...great guy)[/color]

4. MMed gold (4 mil) trade for yeseysyysysysysysy...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Fast and easy)

Offline PK OWNER

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« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2006, 03:47:37 PM »
GOD... i wudnt be talkin.. lol ur the 1 that made those week mama jokes
Yes! I am the guy that started [topic="26106"]THE BIGGEST POST CHALLENGE[/topic] many years ago (The only thread with over 1,000 posts). Dont ask me if I'm the guy, since you know now.



[quote name='snake-master' post='85642' date='Feb 1 2006, 02:33 PM']... PK OWNER i got ur back on this, as for you [Name Hidden] you can take me to court to, i have done as much fraud as PK OWNER by that i mean none[/quote]What an Elite (snake-master/The Cursed) had to say about me when I was accused of scamming in '06.





I joined in '06, and I was one of the ORIGINAL Runescaper's of TTG.

Offline zspec32

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« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2006, 04:33:32 PM »
lol are those considered jokes?
[color=\"#000099\"]>OFFICAL Middle Man<[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"][color=\"#000066\"]Contact Info[/color]: [/b][email protected] <== MSN[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]OR [/color][/b]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]PM ME![/color][/b]


*I proudly sponser the Anti-Scammers Special Thanks to Allanon*



TRANSACTION HISTORY:

1. I sent $100 money order to Sid first and got a picture with a FREE Party Hat second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Awesome Guy!)
2. I gave 1 million gold to hey jude first and he was supposed to pay $9 PayPal...Status: [color=\"#ff0000\"]SCAMMED!!![/color] We all know what I think about scammers.[/s]

3. Got $77 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 11 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

4. Got $48 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 6 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

5. Got $15 from pro edge first and traded him 2 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Great doing business!)

6. Got $175 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 25 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Smooth trade! Would do business again!)[/size]
7. Got $50 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 7 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Awesome buyer! Flawless transaction)[/color]



MIDDLE MAN (MM) HISTORY:

1. Received 500k from aidskaid and he received member's PIN from bloodogre, then I paid bloodogre the 500k...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color]
2. MMed an account trade for gold between grassyassnub and mattman18...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Went fast and smooth...A+ to both guys!)[/color]

3. MMed members pins for dann...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color][color=\"#000000\"] (Fast trade...great guy)[/color]

4. MMed gold (4 mil) trade for yeseysyysysysysysy...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Fast and easy)

Offline PK OWNER

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« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2006, 07:30:28 AM »
mine wasnt a joke.. i was statin a point..
Yes! I am the guy that started [topic="26106"]THE BIGGEST POST CHALLENGE[/topic] many years ago (The only thread with over 1,000 posts). Dont ask me if I'm the guy, since you know now.



[quote name='snake-master' post='85642' date='Feb 1 2006, 02:33 PM']... PK OWNER i got ur back on this, as for you [Name Hidden] you can take me to court to, i have done as much fraud as PK OWNER by that i mean none[/quote]What an Elite (snake-master/The Cursed) had to say about me when I was accused of scamming in '06.





I joined in '06, and I was one of the ORIGINAL Runescaper's of TTG.

Offline zspec32

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Jokes thread... (some r dirty, use caution)
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2006, 06:57:38 PM »
I was referring to the original poster.
[color=\"#000099\"]>OFFICAL Middle Man<[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"][color=\"#000066\"]Contact Info[/color]: [/b][email protected] <== MSN[/color]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]OR [/color][/b]
[color=\"#3366ff\"]PM ME![/color][/b]


*I proudly sponser the Anti-Scammers Special Thanks to Allanon*



TRANSACTION HISTORY:

1. I sent $100 money order to Sid first and got a picture with a FREE Party Hat second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Awesome Guy!)
2. I gave 1 million gold to hey jude first and he was supposed to pay $9 PayPal...Status: [color=\"#ff0000\"]SCAMMED!!![/color] We all know what I think about scammers.[/s]

3. Got $77 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 11 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

4. Got $48 from nypur3hoppz first and traded him 6 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Highly Recomended user)

5. Got $15 from pro edge first and traded him 2 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Great doing business!)

6. Got $175 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 25 mil second...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color] (Smooth trade! Would do business again!)[/size]
7. Got $50 from RS2 buyer first and traded him 7 mil second...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Awesome buyer! Flawless transaction)[/color]



MIDDLE MAN (MM) HISTORY:

1. Received 500k from aidskaid and he received member's PIN from bloodogre, then I paid bloodogre the 500k...Status:[color=\"#009900\"] COMPLETED[/color]
2. MMed an account trade for gold between grassyassnub and mattman18...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED [/color][color=\"#000000\"](Went fast and smooth...A+ to both guys!)[/color]

3. MMed members pins for dann...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color][color=\"#000000\"] (Fast trade...great guy)[/color]

4. MMed gold (4 mil) trade for yeseysyysysysysysy...Status: [color=\"#009900\"]COMPLETED[/color] (Fast and easy)

Offline butlimous

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« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2007, 05:43:00 AM »
Thanks for sharing the stickers!!
[font=\"Comic Sans MS\"]Free iPod[/font]

Offline Zithra

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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2007, 02:38:28 PM »
AHAHA ROFL DUDE THAT WAS SO- gay.




[spoiler]visit us at

www.elliniastation.co.nr

[/spoiler]

Offline haagse sjonnie

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« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2007, 08:04:44 AM »
2 totally wrong but funny ones:
A negro with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar
Bartender asks: Where the hell did you get that thing?
Parrot replies: In Africa, there's tons of them!

and
Whats long and bald?
A conga at the cancer department

yeah the last one is wrong, but kind of funny http://images.thetechguide.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':P\' />
''Father, I object!''

''But you can't object yet..''

''Then I'm objeculating prematurely!''

-Norbit

Offline GOD OF WAR

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« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2007, 10:51:42 PM »
wow..... i regret saying my erlier post........... they are pretty funny.... and yes i know.. my mamma jokes.... they were only funny cuz they didnt make sense... and they waz gay.

Offline X Spec Nuthin

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« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2007, 01:57:40 PM »
Lol some nice jokes some of them are really funny lol
[font=\"Courier New\"]
[/font]
[font=\"Courier New\"]
[font=\"Verdana\"]By Da P 0 0 N - Thanks[/font]
--------------------
--------------------
[font=\"Verdana\"]No. Transactions - 130+ (Including MM's & X-Fers)[/font]
[font=\"Verdana\"]MM'd/X-Fer'd - 190m+[/font]
[font=\"Verdana\"]Vouches - 70+ (No Longer Counting)[/font]
[font=\"Verdana\"]Help Ban 3 Scammers[/font]
[/font]
--------------------
--------------------

My Aim - Official MM & Anti-Scammer

Offline Dreath

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« Reply #18 on: August 12, 2007, 07:39:19 PM »
Some are funny. Some are stupid.
~Transactions~



1. Bought Signature From Steveo- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

2. Bought Wcer/Fmer From B 0 N 3 S- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

3. Trained N0tme's account- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

4. Trained B 0 N 3 S pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

5. Traded my 79 for Rs Elites 57 and 550k-[color=\"green\"] Successful[/color]

6. Bought Range pure From B 0 N 3 S- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

7. Bought Semi Pure From B 0 N 3 S- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

8. Salvest Transfered 1.3 Million to my pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

9. Sold level 79 To Mod Sam- [color=\"red\"]Attempted Scam[/color]

10. Sold Avatar to B 0 N 3 S- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

11. Sold Avatar to Salvest- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

12. Attempted to give B 0 N 3 S free account- [color=\"red\"]Cancelled[/color] (Got better from Ryan)

13. B 0 N 3 S is training my pure-[color=\"green\"] Successful[/color]

14. Gave Steveo360 130k In items free- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

15. Recieved 50k free From Ryan-[color=\"green\"] Successful[/color]

16. Sold Member Pin To B 0 N 3 S 900k,[color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

17. Gave B 0 N 3 S 1134 iron Ore free- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

18. Salvest Transfered 350k to Pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

19. Training Dannyboys skiller- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

20. Training Extr3mes Pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

21. Sold 5 Rune scimmies For Dannyboy- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

22. Bought Mage pure from Dylan of Sythe- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

23. Tr33 Ownz is training my pure- [color=\"red\"]Scam[/color]

24. Gave 300k to BlooDfire because he got scammed- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

25. Bought Amazing Strength pure from Danny- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

26. Danny Transfered Items to Pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

27. Training Ryans Pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

28. Extreme is training my main- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

29. Pker Sam is training my Main-[color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

30. Bought Pker from Sam

31. Bought Private Server from ~sammy~- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

32. Sold 67 Rune 2h's for Dan- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

33. Sold Member Pin to Rick- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

34. Bought Pure of Jesse- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

35. Bought main off Ihatescammer- [color=\"red\"]Scammed[/color]-Recovered

36. Trained 60-80 Strength for Licos- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

37. Trained 1-60 range for Licos- [color=\"red\"]Scammed[/color] Didn't pay

38. Sold Private Server Source to Blane- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

39. Sold Main to Benji- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

40. Gave noob account to Benji- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

41. Designed forum for Iceberg- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

42. Trained 10 mage levels for Iceberg- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

43. Sold Name (for pker) to Kittz- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

44. Sold Name (for pker) to Realize- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

45. Bought Pure off (Don't know name :\)- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

46. Argh_dude pure-- [color=\"red\"]Scammed[/color]

47. Trained Dannyboys skiller- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

48. Dannyboy gave me strength pure free- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

49. Dannyboy gave me tank ranger free- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]<3

50. Bought Signature of Iceworks- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

51. Designed Forum for Renfei- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

52. Bought main from Triden- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

53. Bought 50M in stuff (Uber server for 2m  from Krazed pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

54. Sold level 126 Uber account 5m- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

55. Ignite Trained pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]



I'm missing about 10-20 Normal transactions please contact me if You know of any.



----------------------------------------------------------



[color=\"blue\"]MMs[/color]



1. MM'ed 1.4 Million and a level 52 pure- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

2. Transfered 20 Million for Demon *Golden Community*- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

3. MM'ed A level 104 and 12 Million for Demon and King (Golden Community)-[color=\"green\"] Successful[/color]

4. MM'ed a level 102 and 5 Mil in items for Dannyboy and Sam- [color=\"red\"]Attempted Scam[/color]

5. MM'ed For Danny And some Guy named DrEaTh- [color=\"red\"]Cancelled[/color]

6. MM'ed A pin between Sam and D I P S 3 T- [color=\"red\"]Attempted Scam[/color] Pin Didn't work

7. Transfered 13M in items for friend- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

8. Transfered 10M For B0N3S- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

9. MM'ed 3 Million and A Rune Pure (Sythe)- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

10. Transfered 10M For Jesse- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

11. MM'ed 105 and 9M- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

12. MM'ed 5M and level 90 Main- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

13. Transfered 500k for Ignite- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

14. MM'ed member Pin between Ignite and Renfei- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

15. Mm'ed another pin between Ignite and Renfei- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

16. Mm'ed an account training- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

17. Mm'ed 4M and 70 account with 90 Woodcutting- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

18. Transfered 60k for Renfei (lawl)- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

19. Mm'ed Pure for Extreme- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

20. MM'ed another membership pin- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

21. Mm'ed WoW Key and 1M- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]

22. Transfered 17m for Triden (woot 2m tip)- [color=\"green\"]Successful[/color]



I'm misssing about 10 Middleman jobs, so If any of you have traded with me/let me Mm for you please tell me so I can add it.



------------------------------------------------------------



-Owner of Sky Wave

-Admin of Rune-Fusion

-Admin On Rebellion

-Admin Of Relix Forums

-Co-Admin of Rune-Plate before getting sold

-Official Middleman of RP

-Trusted Member of Sythe (until I quit)

-Was Moderator On FGF

-Co-Owner of Hacks Gaming Forums

-Moderator of Ppb Forums

-Global Moderator of Warriors Elite

-Total Forums Designed/Created: 19 (17 free) :p Just contact me if you'd like one.



Total Geepee MM'ed:

109.96 Million GP

I MM Free, Pm me or talk to me on MSN



I'm part of many black markets, so if you notice a name you don't recognize it's probably from another blackmarket

Offline JB Lee

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Jokes thread... (some r dirty, use caution)
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2007, 09:15:25 PM »
this is a really old thread....